Winds That Will Be - Gabriel's Diary
Gabriel's Diary
May 26, 2001© 2001 Ameer Tavakoli
Chapter A
Where did we last leave our hero? Does it matter? He after all is on the quest of life, where there is no real beginning, but there is a horrible and (especially in this universe) usually messy end.
-----
I took another step on the Pattern. The third veil was approaching, and I was rapidly losing my strength. When I shook off the trump contact and realized where I was, and what I was doing without Fiona to soothe the way that I was done for ... I began to reflect on the events that had led me to this juncture ... there was still a future for me then.Perhaps it is best to begin with Gabriel and Raj chatting over lunch. I was still relatively dangerous then.
_____Gabriel paused and took a sip of his wine. As he did so, he lightly shook his bracelet, readying the spell of paralysis with Raj already tied in as a lynchpin.
"Raj, I have heard disturbing rumors from others that you have become the agent for the Beast. I was wondering what you had to say about the matter."
Internally, Gabriel made ready for his plans to take Raj out. If he was the willing servant of this thing that Gabriel vowed to stop, then he must be taken out of the way. If given an opportunity to slow the beast down, it must be taken, regardless of the collateral damage.
"Well, some would make that statement, I have seen her vision of the future and I do not necessarily agree with it."
Gabriel paused for a moment as his thoughts warred with one another:
"He lies! Do not trust him. Kill him!"
And then there was the other thought:
"Kill! Kill! Eat his flesh! Bathe in his blood! Eat his brain and acquire his knowledge and power"
And then there was the other, other thought:
"Hmmmm, as much I want to kill him, too. He could actually be telling the truth, and would make a much better servant after you break his will and make him your slave in every thought and action than as a dead corpse."
The other thoughts could not be quelled by this rational argument:
"Kill him. Then you can practice your necromantic arts and make him your friend!"
Unfortunately, that brought back memories of other days in the past ... memories best left forgotten. Closing the door on the babbling voices, one could hear the soft mew of a cat in the background of Gabriel's thoughts. Although, it would take a strong imagination to imagine that horrible retching and rotten sound to have come from a healthy, living feline.
____
"I think I see what you mean," said Gabriel, pausing to place the steak knife down ... not paying attention to the shredded remains of the tablecloth directly underneath. "I must confess to have had some doubts as to your motives in this matter. If all is you say it is, and you wish to curb the wishes and desires of your patron, then we are not at an impasse."
::the babbling voices screamed in horror at my inaction and then there was peaceful silence::
"Well, I have been having some thoughts on this matter. As you have seen, there are apparently two new beings vying for power in this new universe, and quite frankly, I want little to do with either of them. Order without chaos, and unrelenting carefree chaos at the cost of structure do not appeal to me. It is my intent to try and get in touch with the Unicorn of old, and see if it will take me as a servant ... or at least, see if I can act in its interests. If you wish, you may join me in the Pattern room where I will make this attempt to contact it."
____
Another step, one of the hardest I have ever taken, brought me to the third veil. All motion, all of the kinetic energy that my will had been providing was taken from me by the infinite sink that is the Pattern. I was done. I tried to draw upon the Fount but there was nothing there to grasp. All of the sorcery that I had spent my lifetime mastering was batted aside leaving me an emptier vessel than I already was. The energy of trump itself was denied me. The sparks began to rise and cover me in blessed peace. I could almost hear Raj in the background ... and then he was silenced by the rush of wind, and then even the sound of that began to fade.
____
As I sat in front of the Pattern with Raj quizzically looking on, I lay out my diagrams of the Pattern around me and looked once again at the Pattern. It had nearly killed me a year ago. And it did kill Julian. Bundling up the pictures, and placing them once again in their pouch, I pulled out my masterpiece, the trump of the Unicorn that I had painstakingly drawn. Sitting, I began to concentrate on the trump, pushing all thoughts aside, and letting all of the cares of the Universe fade from me. Would it accept me, this being that my own father entered a cabal with others to kill? Should I accept it, if my father was right? All of those thoughts faded and there nothing but the trump in my hand, and then there was nothing but the Unicorn.
_____
As everything began to fade, I felt the soft contact of my father. We spoke for plainly and openly of our regrets, our plans, and our dreams for the future. When death comes before you, there is no longer any need or reason for obfuscation, for even the most complex plans are moot before the end.
And as the sparks faded, I found myself at the center of the Pattern.
I could hear Raj shouting. Asking if I was okay, but I was too stunned, and too tired to respond. As tears coursed down my cheeks I whispered a soundless thanks and prayer to my father for saving me from my end. An end I was not ready for, but had resigned myself to. What do I do now that I have a second chance?
Taking a deep breath, I calmed my nerves, quelled the frantic pattern of my pulse, and thought of ultimate order, of the Unicorn as its standard bearer, and of my quest.
And I disappeared.
_______
And this marks the end of this semi-serious log.
Gabriel
-played by Ameer-