Magni Fails, Aedan Succeeds, and Gabriel Doesn’t Turn Martin Into a Tree

Magni didn’t go to Rebma. He went near it, but never actually got there. Instead, he and the Witch, called Sunset (because her real name is also “Magni”1) didn’t go to the Keep of the Four Worlds. They visited the cave where Gabriel et al. once fought and conquered Benedict. It didn’t look right. They rode on through the snow. Or, rather, Magni rode on. Sunset looked at a Tarot card, said “eck,” and fell into a snow drift. Magni made sure she was okay by going through her pockets and taking everything cool, including her tarot deck, trump cards, and box of extra-strength ribbed condoms (apparently women really do notice the difference). Magni threw the Witch over the back of her horse and continued toward the Keep. She vanished en route and Magni didn’t.

Instead, Magni sauntered inside and found the Fount unattended. He jumped in. It turned off. Magni roared in frustration: “Raaaarrrrghhghh!!!” He tried trump calling everyone and ended up with Aedan in the Fae Realms on the way to see King Lugh. Of course, they never made it that far. They trumped Raj and visited him on the battlements of Castle Amber. Raj was casting his stoic gaze across the distant sea, his rugged good looks marred by a hint of foreboding. For across the ocean, a waterspout higher than the Sun spun on a collision course with Amber. It fouled the water and destroyed everything in its path. Raj said that the spout was caused by Leviathan, a big-ass-beast as powerful as Eve, The Tower and Gabriel’s Body Odor that was bent on destroying Amber, or at least just seriously bent. Aedan summoned up the massive power of Grayswandir and Shouted at Leviathan “Turn away, Beast!” It worked and the nasty monster went away and everyone was happy. Yay!

Gabriel tried to heal Martin, who was cursing a lot and praying that he wouldn’t be turned into a tree (see previous chronicle for detailed description of Gabriel’s spell use). Flora was there too, wherever “there” was. Perhaps it was Flora’s Ways in Chaos; perhaps not. In any event, where Flora is, Giselle must surely follow. The younger blondite trumped her mother and explained that the Unicorn just coughed up a magnanimous phlegm-ball in her lap. Inside the mucous goo was a rough-hewn irregular red crystal. Giselle explained that this was, in fact, the “other” Eye of the Serpent, a.k.a., the Jewel of Judgment, a.k.a. the Red Lollipop of Ultimate Colonoscopial Power. Everyone was suitably impressed.

Okay, I Lied. Aedan Didn’t Succeed. Eve Succeeds and Magni Steals Something

Somehow, the GM failed to acknowledge the fact that Aedan Saved the Day and Leviathan continued moving steadily toward Amber. Raj, exhibiting advanced spooky powers heretofore unknown, told Aedan that his use of Grayswandir was interfering with the Pattern and Aedan should Go Away. Aedan flew south in a huff and took a little walk in Arden and picked some flowers—which is what he wanted to do anyway, not fight some gargantuan world-eater. Magni and Raj saw a tiny white speck walk across the sea toward the waterspout: Eve, wearing a deadly Armani pinstripe suit over a Calvin Klein silk T, accentuated by Prada boots, ¾ carat diamond stud earrings, and a Gucci black leather shoulder bag, sauntered toward Leviathan. Black Tendrils shot out of the waterspout, probing the air, searching, probing, voguing. Raj concentrated on the Pattern. Flora, smelling good, touched him (when did she get there?) and observed his actions. Eve walked into the waterspout. After a moment, it went away and she walked back toward the foot of Kolvir.

Flora, smelling great now, gave Magni the crystal and asked him to take it to Bleys, whom she said was the only person who knew what to do with it. Magni agreed and trumped someone other than Bleys. He went to the Smith, that guy in that medieval place who is always hammering away at hot metal and about seventy-five percent done with whatever he’s working on. The Smith grunted and tossed the red crystal into the furnace. He gripped it with tongs and hammered away at it.

Merlin Succeeds, Magni Learns How To Succeed, and Raj Scores

Giselle evaluated Martin and determined that his big, triangular Pattern-imbued kidney wound had returned. Gabriel trumped Merlin, King of Chaos and Manly Man with a Full Beard, who came through to investigate. Merlin helped heal Martin somewhat and helped Giselle become less demonesque and more girlish. They flirted ruthlessly.

Magni investigated a strange silver thread that led him away from the Shadow of the Smith through many weird and not-normal lands. He found himself in a silvery version of Castle Amber as it once was so very long ago. At that exact moment Aedan felt that someone was using the Power of Tir. Magni encountered ghosts of Oberon and Dworkin in Tir along with hordes of short costumed munchkins demanding good candy, not that crappy Brach’s stuff. Magni watched Dworkin and Oberon perform arcane magic, then he awoke on the floor of the Pattern room in a pool of his own vomit surrounded by fourteen empty bottles of Mad Dog 20/20.

On the docks at the foot of Kolvir, Aedan, Raj, Eve, and a few hundred townspeople had a little chat. Eve thanked Aedan and said she owed him a favor. Then she asked him to foreswear his allegiance to the Tower so she could thank him properly. Aedan refused and Eve ended up giving him absolutely nothing for his noble and utterly selfless act. In fact, she coerced the local townspeople into crowding him and making him feel uncomfortable. Aedan left. Raj stayed and had sex with Eve AGAIN, this time in front of the huge crowd of local folk.2

Gabriel Doesn’t Score, Merlin and Giselle Don’t Score, and Magni Fails Anyway

Aedan visited Gabriel at the Keep of the Four Worlds. Giselle told everyone about her Logrus dream wherein she foresaw the coming of Leviathan and was given a big, helix-curved sword by the Seraph. Gabriel had promised Aedan he would go with him to visit the Tower, but he reneged on his word because he was afraid to leave Giselle and Merlin alone in the Keep without a chaperone. Aedan advised Gabriel that Merlin and Giselle had already had lots of sex and if they wanted to get naked Gabriel’s presence wouldn’t deter them. Gabriel saw the wisdom of this and left momentarily with Aedan. Merlin and Giselle kept their clothes on and ransacked the Keep.

Raj returned to the castle and checked in on things. He detected odd goings-on. With Bleys’ help, he managed to break through a wall near the Pattern room. They discovered the secret Temple Below the Pattern, replete with unconscious Magni, silver chalice in hand and rough red crystal immersed in blood sitting at the end of a glowing squiggle that somehow looked like it was an addendum to the Pattern drawn by four-year old K.J. They healed Magni and woke him up. Bleys left while Magni convinced Raj that what Magni had been doing was A Good Idea.

Aedan Scores, Gabriel Gets Scored, and Raj and Magni Fail—Or Do They?

Aedan delivered a message from the Seraph to the Tower. Apparently, the Seraph is upset that the  Tower didn’t keep her end of a bargain. As a consequence, the Seraph isn’t free…yet. That can only happen when Giselle kills Lugh, Merlin, the old Unicorn, Mandor, Ailill, Cian, or one of her other as-yet-unknown close relatives/lovers.

Gabriel hung out with Martin, trying everything he knew of to communicate with Brand including sacrificing the goat and dancing naked under the full, red moon. Nothing worked, although Gabriel caught a tiny bit of frostbite in an unpleasant and difficult-to-explain place. Then he watched Martin go through a trump contact to Giselle. She was going to investigate the recent Disturbance in the Force along with Bleys, Flora, and a horde of tabloid journalists.

They discovered Raj and Magni dancing, or something else that involved hugging each other while walking around slowly, and spilling blood from the silver chalice onto the floor. Bleys started to throw a knife. Giselle argued with him. Bleys appeared somewhat persuaded by her compelling argument, but he threw the knife anyway. It hit the chalice and blood went everywhere. Now the Pattern ends in a starburst. Good luck walking that. Raj and Bleys argued and Bleys took his ball and stomped off to play somewhere by himself. Nyah.

PC Dispositions at the End of the Game:

Aedan is somewhere in Tir-like Shadows with Deirdre.

Gabriel is working on the Keep’s security measures.

Magni is still in the Temple, eating lots of food.

Raj and Giselle are hiding from Bleys. They have the New Jewel of Judgment, the Chalice, and the Weird Black Sword.

Gregory is wherever he was before, doing something vaguely along those same lines.