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Winds That Will Be - Chronicles

Nineteenth Session, March 17, 2001

A Pseudo-Facetious Chronicle 

©2001 Todd E. Worrell. All rights reserved.

 

Present: Simone,  Dan, K.J., James, Sara, and Todd.

Absent: Ameer, even though he showed up at the very end.

Semi-Absent: Guy, who was busy sewing Simone’s Elvis cape in the basement. No, I’m not making that up.

Raj’s Scary Busy Busy World Unbeknownst to the Chronicler, Raj and Gerard stayed awake late into the prior evening drinking alcoholic beverages and amusing innocent bystanders (see below). Gabriel would have undoubtedly stayed awake all night skeeving except his player was absent. In the morning, Giselle read the runes to discover how the Fey realms can co-exist with the Onrushing Future. She now knows all the answers and has the power to derail the Theory Train, rein in Eve the Unicorn Beast, and right the Universe. But she chose to go riding on her pretty horsey instead. Raj found Benedict in his re-opened offices near the busy busy Armory. Benedict informed him that Eve had been sighted all throughout Shadow, including the far-out Courts of Chaos, Osric’s Realm, the Fae Lands, and Hanna Lee. Raj made plans to have a private dinner with Benedict later that evening. He then spent the rest of the morning in the Library studying Floristry (like dentistry, only with flowers) so that future bouquets sent by him to various females in this game would have that special ‘Raj’ touch. Aedan wandered around futilely asking for Corwin. He wasn’t there, nobody knew where he was or when he would return. Aedan went looking for Flora next, but she was in town at the Temple of the Unicorn making arrangements for Martin’s coronation. Benedict was too busy to see Aedan and never responded to a note he left. So Aedan sparred with the castle guards to work out his frustration on them (since Gabriel wasn’t around). Most of them were able to limp or crawl away.		GM's Commentary in which you will find some references to the actual events that occurred in the game -- usually less amusing (or flattering to Todd's character) than the Chronicler's version...
Get Ready, Get Set… Raj enabled Martin’s addiction to drugs, sent a bouquet of flowers to Deirdre, then went to Rebma (yes, again). He called on Rowena, Llewella’s daughter, and invited her to the Prom. She was reluctant to attend, but I think she was secretly hoping Magni would ask her instead. I mean, Raj is a nice guy, and handsome and strong and all that, but have you looked at Magni’s picture lately? He’s just way too damn cool. Women can’t resist him, and men get all tingly when he’s around too, although I’m sure that’s just coincidental. Giselle visited her Just-Back-From-the-Dead Aunt. Deirdre’s rooms were cluttered with all sorts of packages, dry-goods, upholstery stuff, and one particular big-ass bouquet of flowers. Aedan trumped Giselle to threaten/cajole her to convince the Fae to reveal the location of the Amber royal regalia. She was unable to help, so Aedan found the stuff himself1. It was hidden in Julian’s hunting lodge. He returned the stuff to Martin, then had Giselle fix it up nice for the ceremony. Out on the northeast side of Kolvir, preparations were underway for the ceremony. Aedan poked his nose around and checked into the security for the event. Here’s the schedule: Noon – Royal Grounds Open to Visitors Four O’clock – Martin Wets Himself Four Fifteen – Martin Crowned King of All Orange-Colored Semi-Translucent Gemstones on This Half of the Universe Flora, Gerard, and Benedict will have parts in the ceremony, but there will be no public swearing of fealty to the new King. That will take place in a private ceremony later, after Martin changes his pants. Magni had spent all morning hellriding to Ygg. When he got there, he remembered that he had spent several days drawing a trump of Ygg. Oops. So he trumped in Aedan and they interrogated the tree. It confirmed Magni’s suppositions as follows: Shadow is becoming less diverse. Also, Corwin and some young man who must be closely related to him (hint, hint) walked Corwin’s Pattern and vanished. Ygg also revealed that it knew where Eve the Unicorn-Beast was at that exact moment. Magni and Aedan, against their better judgment, decided not to track it and kill it right away. Maybe later.		1. an amusing twist that atrangely didn't make it into the Chronicles: when Aedan Trumped Giselle and asked if she could help find the regalia, she asked, "Did you look under the Throne?" Aedan answered crossly, "Of course," then immediately went to look there. That's where he found the bat-cat that helped him find the regalia... under Julian's chair in his hunting lodge.   PS: in the VH1 Story of Prince Martin, below, Gabriel is depicted as the kicker-of-many-asses. Let it be known that, as far as this GM is aware, Gabriel was not involved in any ass-kicking whatsoever. But hey, that's just me.

 

<previous Chronicle next>

Quotes from this session...

Aedan's Journal from this session...

 

VH1’s Behind the Music: The Story of Prince Martin

In early Autumn, Martin, son of Random, was a struggling musician. Living in Texorami, he spent his nights in smoky clubs, eking out a living behind an electric bass. He drank too much, took illegal drugs, and had way too much sex with all kinds of gorgeous women. By all accounts, he had little or nothing to do with his large and distant family.

Then one fateful night, destiny arrived in the form of an annoyingly uptight cousin. There was news: Martin’s father, the King of Amber, was dead. Amber itself was overrun by imps, and lacked leadership. Martin reluctantly agreed to return to his ancestral home. Once there, he took on the mantle of Regent. The former musician and vagabond spent his days listening to nobles complain, merchants whine, and court officials officiate.

His annoyingly uptight cousin disappeared under mysterious circumstances, but there were other relations hanging around pretending to help. Martin’s uncle Corwin, newly sober and struggling with his own inner demons, took the young man under his tutelage. Martin’s aunt Florimel recovered from her beauty-scarring religious experience to assist with the day-to-day duties of running a kingdom. Uncle Gerard moped, but did what he was told to when given explicit enough directions. Uncle Benedict, the oldest and most stalwart of Amber’s supporters, returned to organize the Armies. All in all, it seemed like Martin was well on his way. Everyone hoped that it would be a good reign.

Then disaster struck.

[Commercial Break]

Giselle, a young fae cousin of Martin’s known to associate with Unseelie types, brought the nefarious Mandor Sawall to town. Long-believed to have been Amber’s greatest nemesis, the white-haired, silver-balled demon was left unsupervised by the too-trusting Giselle. He was allowed to wander the castle’s hallways for a night and a day. It’s not too surprising what happened next.

Martin, under the influence of his close-lipped cousin Raj, snuck out of the castle mere hours before his coronation was to take place. Raj took him to an unsavory bar where the women wore very little clothing, and were all too willing to wear nothing at all. Intoxicating liquids flowed freely. Raj and Martin imbibed liberally. Soon enough Martin was making wet, sloppy noises with a strange woman behind a closed door. Raj was practically passed out on the floor of the hallway outside the room, utterly unhelpful and nigh-useless.

Giselle arrived with Mandor in tow. She promptly stripped mostly naked and donned the local costume. As Martin was being attacked by suddenly-appearing devil-horse assassins, Giselle was modeling her skimpy outfit for the Chaosian Lord of Skeevil. At that moment, when all seemed dark and dreary, and the next major ceremony in Amber was about to be another funeral, a miracle happened.  Martin’s cousin Gabriel trumped in, kicked the assassin’s ass, and rescued the Prince. He then kicked Raj’s irresponsible ass, Mandor’s demon-ass, and Giselle’s not-even-thong-covered ass. If not for the brave heroics of heretofore-relatively-unimportant-and-unnoticed cousin Gabriel “Captain Ass-Kicker,” Prince Martin would never have become King and the second-greatest bass player, behind Sid Vicious, in history.

[Next time on VH1’s Behind the Music: The Magni Vanagni Story]

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