Osric’s Realm Needs a Name Besides “Osric’s Realm”

Raj and Magni wandered around Osric’s realm, keeping their horses close by so that if anyone trumped them they could leave right away. They gathered some hopefully-useless information, such as the Osrickians could muster 8-10,000 soldiers within five days. They used the bow, heavy swords, explosives, and exotic torture-toothbrushes as weapons. None of the locals had scurvy.

Eventually, Aedan trumped Magni and pulled our heroes back to Arden. The Three Amigos rode back to Amber via the Coast route, through the city. Aside from various mourning drapes, all was well in town, as evidenced by the Princes’ heavy drinking and carousing. They began at a bar Aedan knew of from Gabriel, but quickly moved on to a few more rowdy, fun places that Raj had frequented.

Meanwhile, Giselle was busy being unable to leave Benedict’s Shadow. She explored a bit and discovered that underneath his calm, stoic exterior Benedict had Tourette’s Syndrome. However, that doesn’t explain why he shot her earring off while she was wearing it. Perhaps it was some Benedictine version of Klingon foreplay, which would help explain why Giselle kissed him immediately afterwards and the whole “claw the back (is that a euphemism?)” ritual. If you didn’t realize it before now, them Fae ain’t like normal folks, especially when it comes to the lovin’. They’s a very close family, if’n you know what I mean. Yuck.1

Raj, Magni, and Aedan returned to the Castle at two in the morning. A servant informed them that Martin was looking for a good candidate to attend Llewella’s official funeral in Rebma. Raj was volunteered. They all slept, but not together in that Fae way. In the morning Magni ventured forth to the Church of the Unicorn with Martin. The new High Dude of the Unicorn had arrived from Kashfa. People sort of like him, and they’re thinking of making his new robes out of asbestos. Magni discovered a secret passage in the Temple which led straight to the Isle of Cabra for no apparent reason but he didn’t tell anyone about it, so pretend you don’t know.2

Raj’s List Gets Longer

Raj spent time outside of Gerard’s door. Gerard wasn’t there. Raj didn’t break in and steal anything worthwhile. Aedan trumped Corwin and learned nothing except that Corwin was on his way to the Keep of the Four Worlds. Aedan and Raj ended up talking together. After an hour, Magni joined them. They made a list:

The Who Must Die / What We Need to Do to Kill Them List:

1. Osric/Raise an Army.
2. Bleys/Get Real Lucky in a Swordfight.
3. Brand/Have Him Commit Suicide Because Taking Gabriel Hostage Won’t Accomplish Anything.
4. Tir/Everyone Wants to Go There For One Reason or Another. Yeah, like the GM is just going to hand us the answers once we get there. And who are we supposed to kill once we get there? Let’s stick to the process, people.
5. Gregory/I can’t remember why he’s on the list. It seems really odd, but we were getting rather cranky and Gregory was nowhere to be found. How Gabriel escaped being on the list is anyone’s guess. 

Giselle chatted with Flora. They discussed the symptoms of Benedict’s infection and decided to quarantine the Shadow where he was. Of course, this will make it impossible for him and the army to come to Amber’s rescue, but they didn’t think about that, nooooo. Raj, Magni, and Aedan rode up to see what all the fuss was about, then rode off in a hurry, not wanting to be implicated when Benedict figured out what was going on.

The Three Gentlemen rode to the Keep of the Four Worlds. Magni waved at the gate guards and they let the fellows in without a hassle. The door to the Fount was unlocked. Inside, Corwin and Brand were trying to roast marshmallows but the Fount’s flames were gone. Raj apologized for his clubbing of Brand, and Brand blamed it on the Thing. Corwin and Brand both tried to not tell us anything useful. Raj played Good Cop, Aedan bombed as Bad Cop, and Magni saved it all up for one good rant. The Intrepid Three fumed off into Shadow to raise armies. Well, Raj and Magni did.

Aedan returned to Amber where he had a giant omelette in the Breakfast nook with Bleys and a dozen fawning servants. Bleys reiterated his willingness to assist Martin “if he lives that long” which, now that I think of it, is the same thing all the elders have been saying. So have your eulogies ready, ‘cause the odds are against Martin’s continued survival.

Choo-Choo

Bleys brought up a few good points, which Aedan elaborated on (since neither Gabriel nor Gregory were there, someone needed to drive the Theory Train):

            Who Could Have Built Such an Artifact/Thing?

            Who Has Benefited From the Appearance of the Thing?

            Who Has Suffered from the Appearance of the Thing?

            Who Fell into the Abyss right before the “Unicorn” appeared and gave Random the Jewel of Judgment? Could Brand have been planning this all along?

            Could Someone have tampered with Fiona and Random’s experiment with the Jewel of Judgment? Who?

Okay, the Answer to most of these questions is: Brand. We’re all gonna die, if we’re lucky.