The Beginning of the End for the Unseelie

Raj and Magni prepared for battle. Roaming around Shadow, actively using that little-used power known as Pattern, they gathered a force of Mighty Warriors to achieve goal number one (see list in 1-06-01 Chronicle). Their force consisted of:

1.                  Some Greenpeace Dudes with Bows and Arrows and pseudo-pointy ears;

2.                  Short, gray guys with heavy weapons and bad breath;

3.                  Birdmen with vibrant pubic plumage, for aerial reconnaissance;

4.                  Urban miners/engineers with modern weapons and painfully large butt-plugs;

5.                  Exotic, high-gravity armadillo MF’s (see quote in 1-06-01 Quotes) who worship Raj and have no fear of death.

Following a mobile troop of Unseelie through Shadow in the general direction of Osric’s Realm, Raj and Magni set up a nasty ambush. They noticed that the Fae’s passage seemed to have a funky effect on the local foliage: it aged it until it was dead. Sure enough, during the ambush, the same thing happened to hordes of unlucky gray guys. But the Good Guys won, although it took about three Armadillos to take down one Unseelie. Raj and Magni analyzed the battle and thought up some improvements they could make for the next time they mercilessly attacked innocent Fae out where no one could prove they did it.

Aedan surveyed the city and castle environs for residual Fae crap. He found that it tended to stink more in the stones in the roads and around. Gerard was busy at the harbor rebuilding ships that had been ruined by Fae magic. Also, the populace still couldn’t remember any invasion. Hmmm. Maybe Gabriel could vivisect a few and determine why. In the meantime, Aedan checked out the main Temple of the Unicorn in town. He wandered around the cemetery, and met the new High Priest of the Unicorn, a not-nearly-so-old-as-the-last-High-Priest guy named Balin from Kashfa. Balin was tan, like most Kashfans, with shoulder-length salt and pepper hair, steely gray eyes, and big sideburns. Aedan returned to the Palace and read up on Balin’s family. Then he ate peanut butter.

Gabriel and Gregory allegedly determined how to free Giselle, Benedict, and Joseph Salk (no relation) from the nasty Trump virus. They hellrode through Shadow toward Giselle until she ‘moved’ and then they could Trump her. They did, but she refused to be ‘cured’ of the virus. So they lied to her about what really happened. Since Sara was only on the phone, she has no way of knowing the truth. She told them that K.J. was sick, and James needed to come home a little early and pick up some eggs for dinner.

We Put the ‘Fun’ in ‘Funeral’

Martin rounded up the local royals to attend Llewella’s funeral in Rebma. He trumped everyone there on Moire’s trump, then promptly ignored them and practically ordered them to cause trouble. So they did. Raj interrogated Queen Vialle. Aedan attempted to examine the scene of the crime, much to Martin’s dismay. The place was scoured clean except for the huge collection of Harlequin romances, which really explains a lot about Llewella if you stop to think about it for a minute.

Then Magni and Aedan wandered out to Llewella’s estate to attend the Open House/Wake. Llewella’s daughter Rowena greeted them. Her father, the late General R. Nomein, was unable to attend the wake due to his being dead. Also, his family didn’t approve of Amberites and apparently not of Rowena either. She was kinda “avant-garde,” but in a babe-like, well-put-together sort of way. Hey, I saw her first. (Chronicler’s note: I gotta get a girlfriend soon.) Magni learned all kinds of juicy gossip from a nameless Rebman noblewoman in the gallery. Don’t worry; her body will never turn up. Magni and Aedan return to Amber via Gerard’s trump. They ate dinner in the city at one of Amber’s finest dining establishments. Gregory and Gabriel trumped in just in time to pick up the tab. Such gentlemen.

They traveled by coach back to the castle. Magni reported in to Martin while Aedan, Gabriel, and Gregory made shadow shapes of animals on the walls and exchanged information vital to the well-being of Amber which I won’t detail here. Magni returned and there ensued a wicked game of Twister. When the film is developed, we’ll let you know. Until then, avoid crowds and don’t drink the water.