03 - Caine's Mark
7/4/2007

GM: You sense that Saras is in the house when you wake, but not too near.

Helena: I work through my shape before I move at all, removing any sign of her.

GM: Done.

Helena: I feel my shape, assess my fitness. Helena? I ask.

GM: A brief pause, like a recording spinning up, and then, Yes?

Helena: Am I... is anything changed there?

GM: We are repaired... empowered and ready.

Helena: The dials? It still feels weird to call them that. What are their settings?

GM: They are as you left them. A tiny excess speed and strength, a bit less emotion, and no purchase for seed whatever... which seems a shame.

Helena: Please set speed and strength back where they were. And emotion. And set the last to the center... or whatever is normal.

GM: You feel the first dials moving. Normal for the last is up to you. If you would not be empty long, perhaps six or seven would suit best.

Helena: Six, then.

GM: A smile, a dial turns.

Helena: You did it, you know? You opened the door, or we did together. And Saras... he is alive. I know you know, but I feel, I have to say it out loud.

GM: You stood alone very often. Had I pride, I would be proud of you.

Helena: I rise. I go to the doorway and try to listen for Saras's presence.

GM: You think he is by the door, looking out perhaps.

Helena: I walk forward to the edge of the kitchen bar.

GM: After a moment, "Helena?" perhaps asking permission, or assessing your mood at least.

Helena: I let the smile come that is true to my feeling, to my relief and love. "Saras. What time is it now?"

GM: "Afternoon. Late, but not too late to find some sun."

Helena: "I would chase the sun around the globe to keep up with it, I think."

GM: A small laugh. "The dark has its charms as well, so long as the nights are warm."

Helena: "The grass is soft.

"I am sorry that I hurt you. I am not myself and I won't be for some time. I know you know that, but I'm so afraid that the ugliness they put in me will spill out and hurt you." Is it only a day ago I was counting days by cups of filthy water?

GM: "I am harmed, but I am healing... and I know it is not you that pains me. Do you wish to lie in the grass with me a while?"

Helena: "What do you wish? I have grown unaccustomed to asking for what I wish, and it is tiring."

GM: "Then I wish to take you back to the bedroom, and give you the promised reward for sitting through my poor doctoring."

Helena: I grin. "But first, a snack?"

GM: "You will need your strength for me, {beloved}." He sweeps you into his arms for a kiss, and then leads you behind the bar to obtain something quick but filling.

Helena: "You see? When I ask you for what you wish, I get what I want. It is very rewarding."

GM: "Then I will take what I want from you more, I promise." More kisses, shared crackers and cheese and light wine.

Helena: "Yes, please. And I promise I'll be awake for more than ten minutes this time."

GM: "Those minutes were sweet, my love... water after a long time in the desert. I will take whatever you have to give."

Helena: I take his hand firmly, and lead him back to the bedroom.

GM: He flops down on the bed before you, leaving his clothes to you this time.

Helena: I start withhis feet, discovering he has no shoes. And then up to the waist of his pants. I undo them and drag them off of him along with any underwear before attempting his shirt.

I straddle his legs. "Sit up." I demand, tugging on the shirt's hem. "I want this off you."

GM: He sits, obediently, raising his arms so you might divest him of his last stitches.

Helena: Now I put both hands on his brow, and slide them along, feeling his face. A most fleeting kiss, so that I don't lean too close. I let my hands feel his neck and shoulders, play down his chest and stomach. When I am teasing the hair above his groin my head tips back as I am hit by a sudden rush of imagining him inside me, and what he will do.

I feel my flush rise.

GM: His hands find you, shoulders, arms, then belly and breasts; not so careful now.

Helena: I rise on my knees, pressing belly against chest, my breasts chilled and taut, wanting more of his touch.

GM: He eases you back enough to apply lips and teeth, a hand attending the 'idle' side or just holding you where he can reach by turns.

Helena: I let his arm hold me upright and let my weight fall back, my chest stretched up towards that delight. A constant trill of feeling runs from there to my spine and my center.

GM: Not sated there, but no longer patient elsewhere, he lowers his grip to raise and lower you onto his readiness.

Helena: I can't help a small sound escaping me, quietly, "yes..." I lift myself to tease both of us, not quite releasing him, and move there, slightly, to feel his tension rising.

GM: He squirms, and his hips chase you just a bit before he can stand the teasing. A growl escapes him, low and playful.

Helena: I have an answering purr, and bring my mouth down over his to kiss him deeply while I keep up that motion.

GM: He grasps your arms near the shoulder, holding you just there, kissing you fiercely. You feel his tension building, like he will not be long now.

Helena: With a slow change of motion, made entirely of the muscular control of my body, I stop my teasing, frozen, the tip of him barely inside me. I pull my face back from his, just slightly. Close enough that he can feel my lips move against his I say, "If you give me your <seed> this time, I will keep it. If that is your desire, it is also mine."

GM: "I will be empty this time, but I offer you everything the next time. I am too ready to change so quickly, {beloved}, but yes... yes...."

Helena: This is happiness, so strange to feel on top of the turmoil of this last long day. "Yes," I agree, and drive myself down upon him, suddenly enough it is almost a pain to fill myself so full with him. Strange pain, that is only abated by taking more, and over again, in strong filling strokes. I only stop if he takes a hand in it, but otherwise let my own desire guide my motion.

GM: He can hold only a moment or two, and he presses even deeper in his release. Your body responds as you had hoped since your first time with him, shifting just so that both of you are only better united while he bucks his last. A heartfelt groan, as if releasing a heavy weight too long carried, and then he sinks into the bed, twitching in the after, still firm enough to let you dance as you will.

Helena: It is only a moment longer, pressed down upon him, and I extend out the quaking he began in me with his own, before tipping off of him and stretching out against him.

GM: "A minute or two, {beloved}. Perhaps three, you shook me so." He kisses you fiercely, laughter in his lips.

Helena: "I am in no hurry at all to trade this glow for another. But I know your skills enough to believe you will have me aching and empty for you as soon as you will."

GM: "I have you back. There is no need for arts in loving you." A long exhale, then another breath. "Mmm... time to awaken, my soldiers, from your long slumber." A little laughter layered over his concentration.

Helena: I laugh at his metaphor. In mock seriousness, I echo, "Yes, to arms!"

GM: His laughter becomes more open. After a long, gentle mirth, he rolls above you. "The rest will take care of itself, I believe." He begins kissing at your neck, working downward, letting you have a moment more to prepare before diving back to 'work.'

Helena: I allow myself to luxuriate completely in his attentions, and in the love we have that will have to be strong through many more trials -- but that has proven itself more than most others in a lifetime.

GM: He dawdles for some time, teasing buds to full flower again, and then at last a slow entry to your welcome. His initial tension spent, he now has the means to draw you out completely, and seems eager to try.

Helena: I am complicitous in his experiment, very willing to see where he will lead me.

GM: Lead you he does, again and again... such a simple motion, and yet it finds new delight at every turn. You are past counting when he finally spills, but he in turn collapses upon you, utterly done.

Helena: I find I cannot stop smiling, stroking his shoulders and sides with my fingertips, defiant of the past and its claim that no such happiness would be mine again, ever. No anger or bitterness is important in the face of this. While it is real, it is... secondary.

GM: "I love you, Helena," he whispers in your ear when he can find measurable breath. "Thank you for the gift of you."

Helena: "Likewise," I am able to say this time. "Though perhaps it is Alma we should thank; her and her interference."

GM: "I shall never labor long enough to repay your gifts... she will have to settle for our joy." He laughs. "Perhaps a card, next holiday?"

Helena: "Yes, though perhaps not an illustrated one... not if Father is going to see it, anyway."

GM: His laughter is more, and then eases away. "They are an interesting match, those two." Settling beside you, very comfortably

Helena: "You know more of them since her healing than I do." Only a little jealousy, there.

GM: "Clearly you are strong enough to visit," he intones with mock professionalism, then, more intimately, "We have been blessed with time enough for you to catch me... and you know that they will let you."

Helena: "Have you had a chance to... ease their minds about my condition?"

GM: "I told Loren simply that I would send word when you were ready. Not knowing, I could not reassure them without conjecture that might become lies.

"Now I know," he says contentedly.

Helena: I grimace. "Maybe, though, you should at least relieve them about the worst...?"

GM: "Should I look for your Trumps, or can I send a missive through your servants?" No argument.

Helena: "Whatever you feel best..." I have strangely no desire to give that message myself. "I am... a little afraid of their reaction, I think."

GM: His hands touching you lightly, trying to distract from your fears, "Do you wish to see them soon after, or would that be too much? ...Just so I know what to say."

Helena: "In a few days? I think... Is that selfish?"

GM: "It is what you need, {beloved}. They are your parents. They will understand."

Helena: "You are right, of course." I brush his cheek with my hand.

GM: "Occasionally," he teases. Then, with a mixture of love and kind seriousness, "I cannot leave you just now, but I promise I will find means to reach them straight away after," awaiting your leave.

Helena: I nod. "I hate to think of them, picturing worse than what is."

GM: A soft sigh, not too regretful. "Let me convince my legs, and I will seek your Trumps. Where did you keep them?"

Helena: "The drawer, by the mirror in the living room."

GM: Slowly, he disentangles from you. A parting kiss, and he stands. Walking away, then the drawer opens and closes. A strange feeling then, like a cool spot in your mind somewhere.

Helena: "Wait!" I call out, slightly panicked.

GM: He rushes back. The coolness feels stronger. "What?"

Helena: "I don't know. Put them down."

GM: He lowers the cards to the floor, stepping away. The cool sensation diminishes, almost gone.

Helena: I blink. Trying to review what I felt.

GM: Blinking focuses the feeling... almost sensing a point of light in the utter darkness.

Helena: "I don't know," I repeat. "I had a sense of something reacting to you touching them.

"Could you... maybe spread them around with something, a practice sword or something? Tell me if there is something new among them? I know it sounds silly..."

GM: "Not silly, if you are discomforted. Let me get something." He leaves, and the chill disappears, taking the sense of light with it. When he returns, jabbing the deck, it tries weakly to return. "This may take a while. What do you sense?" The sense of a point of light is becoming a streak, a smear - but maddeningly not visible yet.

Helena: "Light?" I say, uncertain. "I am not sure if it is you being near the cards, or the cards themselves. It... went away when you were not close to them."

GM: He continues to stir, and the smear becomes a round shape that you can *almost* see. "I see no untoward cards here... though I did not have a strict accounting to work with."

Helena: I list them all for him, along with their correct backings.

GM: Slow, disciplined accounting; laborious flipping with the tip of a sword. "All accounted for, down to the new one of me."

Helena: "Perhaps, if we spread them apart from each other, and you... attend to them one at a time?" I am sitting up now, worried and puzzled.

GM: "Do I begin with minor arcana, or some trusted person?"

Helena: "I don't know. Don't... don't actually touch them, okay, please? Start with those I know best, so we can set those aside."

GM: "Loren, then?"

Helena: I nod with trepidation.

GM: "Am I looking, or moving it apart, or making contact? I have little experience in this realm...."

Helena: I laugh nervously. "Um, drag it away from the others, quite a ways... ten feet? And... walk away from it and back."

GM: "Sure." The sword tip scoots it along the carpet. He must look at it to do so, and it actually becomes visible in the black - a small rectangle in the nothing of your lost vision.

Helena: "Uh... Wait. Do another."

GM: "I'm going to use the one of the quarters in the Embassy, okay?"

Helena: I nod

GM: The same reaction. A blue outline in the utter dark, scooting along where you imagine the floor to be.

Helena: Do I see it only if I look towards where it physically is?

GM: The outline is muted if you turn your head far enough, but still there.

Helena: "One more...""

GM: "Nine of Cups." A much lesser reaction, more of a dot than a rectangle, but still you can follow its path.

Helena: "I... 'see' them, at least, when you're looking at them I do. Could you... look at that one of Loren again for a second, and then look away from it?"

GM: "Sure." He considers the card, and it becomes bright enough to almost distinguish your father's face before he looks away.

Helena: I hold my hands up in puzzlement. "I see them like I am looking at them when you do... but only when you do. Not the background... the carpet or whatever. Just the card."

GM: "Perhaps there is more Trump in those orbs than I thought.

"Shall I find some pants and contact your father?"

Helena: I shake my head, wondering at it, and then realize he might think I mean 'no.' "Yes, do. And by the way I like that sentence 'shall I find some pants and contact your father.'" I try to make light.

GM: "I knew he would appreciate it, regardless." He chuckles. He picks up the card of Loren, concentrates, and slowly Saras appears before you, outlined in cool blue fire. "Loren?" Saras asks, and you think your father is answering.

Helena: I cannot stop looking at him. I don't want the glance stolen from this power, but I cannot help myself. He is there. I see him there. I think my mouth drops open.

GM: Saras asks, "Loren, hold on a minute," and the image of Saras begins to fade, even as he looks to you to see what is wrong.

Helena: I wave in his direction. "It's just... I can see you. Through the Trump."

GM: "What?" and he dims further. Then he considers the card, and the image regains its strength

Helena: "As you concentrated on the card and it became active, I could see... what Father is seeing."

GM: He steps closer... then backs away, considering that touching you when Loren is not prepared for what he might see is ill advised. You can read his lips as he explains that your vision has not returned... mostly true... but that you might be well enough to visit in a few days.

Helena: I wait, just... watching him.

GM: Saras explains that the earlier distraction was just a consequence of your blindness, and that all is well... no, you're not ready to talk... yes, wish Alma well... tell her we're well... soon, he says, several times.

Helena: I can't take my attention off of him. I know it is going soon and I want to hold onto it.

GM: At last, or too soon, he cuts the contact... and the light is gone from your world.

Helena: I tip backwards onto the bed. Not frustrated or angry, just... "What in Mother Abyss was that?"

GM: Saras comes close, touching you only when the Trump is gone from his hand. "Helena?"

Helena: "Yes?"

GM: "What are you seeing?"

Helena: "Nothing, now."

GM: "Before, then."

Helena: I sigh, trying to organize my thoughts. "When you first touched the cards, I just felt cool..." I make a vague gesture towards my head. "A bit like being Trumped, or touching Trump myself. And when you moved them around I started seeing lights. Where they were was giving off light. I could see their location, even if I turned my head away from them. And when you would look at a card long enough, I could see the outline of it and then the picture on it.

I pause. "Finally when you contacted Father, I could see... you. Outlined in the energy."

GM: He's looking at the orbs now... very closely. A Working, almost. "Go on," he whispers, still Looking at you.

Helena: "That's it. That's what I saw. When the link subsided, the light went away."

GM: "It is Trump in them... to what end, I don't know. Perhaps to grant this vision you describe, but to what end...?" trailing off, puzzled.

Helena: "To give someone access to images of those who might Trump me?" I grasp at a straw. "They were put in place by Caine, but whether he created them or not, I don't know."

GM: "Perhaps a Trump artist would know. I don't sense a thread out, but it is not my Art."

Helena: "Father may know someone we can trust... do you at all?"

GM: "I know no one, aside from those Loren introduced me to."

Helena: I don't know why this thought occurs to me just now. "You went to Benedict... did they call you? The JRS?"

GM: A bitter sigh. "The JRS came to me, realizing that I already knew enough to be of little risk. Benedict demanded silence, from them and from me. I gave it," regretfully.

Helena: "I wouldn't have thought him in a position to demand much, given his condition when last I saw him.

GM: "He is... Benedict." Saras has no other explanation. "I thought him dead until he moved... fixed me with those eyes."

Helena: "Anyway, there was a man there, a captain. He was very competent. I don't think I learned his name...?"

GM: "The captain I met did not give his name. I wasn't sure I wanted it... never thought to ask.:

Helena: "How did you learn what had happened to me?"

GM: "That came through the Embassy, just before the JRS came for me."

Helena: "I have spent many months wondering how, when faced with a hundred possible responses, I chose the worst possible.

"I was made sorry by them, of course. I want you to know I am sorry for what I did to you, and Loren and Alma. I had no idea I was made that way. I felt... I feel ashamed."

GM: "What... of what, Helena? My understanding was that you acted to save Benedict."

Helena: "I could have saved him without going through. But I didn't know if Julian had the information he needed. I didn't know what his follow up would be. I didn't know anything. I just went."

GM: "You went to save the House, then. What shame in that?"

Helena: My face contorts. "It came to stay or go. I didn't think. I didn't..."

GM: "You could not leave him with knowledge that would destroy Jesby. I would have done the same."

Helena: I roll onto my side towards him, hold him round the waist, and bury my face into the side of his hip.

GM: He holds you, working his arms around you, even at the odd angle.

Helena: After a while I uncurl.

GM: He lets you ease back... stays close.

Helena: "I have... a lot of intelligence to add to the files, I suppose."

GM: "I don't doubt it. If you wish, I'm sure you could do much for the JRS, or Crown. But they can wait. You have done enough for them for now."

Helena: I nod. "It's just... a weight."

GM: "I will help you put it down, as much as I can."

Helena: "I know you will. It's not something... I feel comfortable giving you. You don't deserve it. And it is over and we are here."

GM: "We are soldiers at heart. It is in us to interpose as we do."

Helena: I laugh. "Great. I kept thinking how much trouble I'd have been in if that had happened on a mission."

GM: "Retirement makes us crazy," he offers.

Helena: "It's going to be a long stretch of crazy."

GM: "I hope so."

Helena: I hold my hand over my stomach. "Are you ready for this family? Is Zaran ready to be married?"

GM: "I am ready for family. I am pledged to you. If you wish to be married before you show, I will gladly make an 'honest woman' of you... though the thought of more honesty from you is a bit beyond my imagination."

Helena: "I do not care about being an honest woman. Truly, do you think I did? I care about... making my vows to you. They may be private vows."

GM: "I thought that I did not need to think much about it. Perhaps your parents would witness our vows at some point... quietly, as you see fit."

Helena: My brain is chasing something, and I don't know the picture of it yet. "Sometime you'll have to tell me all of what transpired here. What was communicated; how it was handled."

GM: "What part?"

Helena: "Serpent, I don't know any part. Truly, Benedict dragged me out of my cell and we came straight here.
"I mean, has anything been said publicly since my release?"

GM: "I hadn't asked. I'm sure Loren could quote it all to you."

Helena: "Maybe in three days I won't care. For some reason right now it's niggling at me."

GM: "Can you wait to talk to him, or do you want to listen to the broadcasts, see if there is news left?"

Helena: "Does my doctor think I can stand the strain?" I only look half-joking.

GM: "I don't know what news would please you, but I would risk it, if you wished."

Helena: "I wish I knew what I wanted to hear. Right now I guess I feel blind in too many ways, not just..." I tip my shoulders back so I can shrug up at him.

GM: He moves close, asking permission to kiss you; not trying to kiss it away, but conceding, and offering what consolation he can.

Helena: I lift up towards him in answer.

GM: He kisses you, taking his time.

Helena: "Mmm." I sigh. "You know I will still be awful sometimes? You know if I am, it is not because of you?"

GM: "I fell in love with your willfulness, your strength. I cannot be lazy with you, and that is my preference. Some 'awful' is a fair price for the wonderful that comes with it."

Helena: "I will try to keep the price low, even so."

GM: "Thank you. I can ask no more than that."

Helena: "Do you know what they did with the Entity? After?"

GM: "I'm not sure. I did not hear of a termination order, but that means little, isolated as I was."

Helena: I nod. "I don't know either."

GM: He chuckles, "This is becoming a broken record, but... perhaps Loren would know." He sighs. "Do not let curiosity rush you, love."

Helena: "You're making it hard to resist."

GM: "I don't mean to."

Helena: "I have a couple of things to do in the meantime...

GM: "Good," he says, trying not to sound to pleased.

Helena: "Besides eating and scrubbing myself -- do you think I'll get over that anytime soon? -- and my shifting. And you…

"Well, actually, that about sums it up."

I think about the stretch of days to come. "Not reading is going to get old."

GM: "I am glad to be among the things you wish to do... and one day, you will be clean enough of this.

"Would it trouble you to be read to? I had some curiousity about your books anyway...."

Helena: "It would be wonderful... but it is not the same in the long run. Not worse. But not the same... not something I can pick up to be quiet with while you work."

GM: "I will teach you how to read with your fingers, then... when your shifting is easier."

Helena: "I am sure that would be something I could learn. We had some simple codes that way, before.

"Did you talk to Loren and Alma at all in depth, before my release? I presume the JRS has agreed to leave them be, now?"

GM: "I spoke to Loren once, in some depth, when your release was announced. He Trumped me immediately. To my shame, I almost didn't answer." A pause to collect himself, and then, "They have been at peace for some time. I think the JRS is done with her, with them... and hopefully, with you."

Helena: "That is good news. At least that mission was a success, then."

GM: "Yes. You did well."

Helena: "And the conclusion of my... side trip... better than I could have guessed at any point within it."

GM: "Some closure...?"

Helena: "Some... understanding. And removing a large threat to the House."

GM: "Yes."

Helena: "I mean to say, the analysis of it, afterwards... the results were good."

GM: "It is a difficult accounting, from my perspective, but yes. Much was preserved in the price you paid."

Helena: "I could have paid more, and gotten less."

GM: "You could have. You did not." Gentle kiss on the forehead. "You did well."