GM: No one protests departing, and you dismiss the palanquin and depart from the parking lot, via Loren's Trump, to a secluded grove of mountain palms and hillside banyan in the Estates hinterlands. A short walk takes you to a path winding between rocky hills, which Loren leads your group along for a little while before Alma opens the conversation.

Alma: "Saras, you already know some of my troubles. Recently, Helena helped me through a 'spell', and we're worried... well, I'm worried that she might have picked up something as penance for her good deed."

Loren: "I've looked through Helena's mind, but saw nothing untoward from the event." Alma's silent rebuttal amounts to her handing Saras the matchbook she palmed from you before. While Saras considers the note inside, Loren adds, "The JRS has a thus-far peripheral interest, due to my wife's war record, and we'd of course like to keep it that way."

Saras waits for your input before making any judgments.

Helena: "It was my impression that whatever passed from Mother to me is not consciously identical to her... though you can see from the handwriting that it is similar. I do not know what else to tell you, except that I will not be able to take up the duties of my new positions so long as it remains unresolved. Within a very short time I fear this would mean my relinquishing it to someone else."

GM: Loren corrects your assumptions, gently but firmly. "Just because you are troubled in some fashion does not mean that you must cast aside your achievements, my daughter. Certainly not just the laundry men can cover their tracks in Chaos."

Saras says simply, "A cure is better medicine than a cover-up."

Helena: I look at Father quickly as Saras says this, trying to judge his reaction to this man's contradiction of his statement. How well they know each other, and how much my father trusts him, will be the true informer of my decision.

Loren: Loren's face quirks slightly, sort of a bitter smirk, as he releases his hold on the hope that what you experienced was just a blip, a mote, a figment of no consequence. With a nod, he concedes, "Better medicine is preferable, no matter how bitter."

Saras: Turning to you, "There are means beyond a simple mental probe to see what has happened, but none can be undertaken lightly. Some are painful, some are risky, and most require a level of trust hard to cultivate in a single evening. Given Loren's probe and Alma's background, I doubt answers will come easily, but I'm willing to try." He allows himself a small sigh at this turn in his evening, but no other sign of regret escapes him.

Helena: I nod to him. "I understood that before speaking of this matter. As for trust, my trust of you is that of my parents, who saw fit to bring us together..." I allow myself -- and him -- a small smile... "for many reasons. But this was chief among them. My understanding of your record is based only on what is public; that is most honorable and admirable." I make a small sign, like a salute, of respect from one military officer to another. "It is their personal knowledge of you that must guide me. If they have trust in you, my trust is in equal measure."

GM: "I have always known you to be an honorable man, Saras," Loren says, and Alma adds, "And I trust in his compassion, from our first meeting to now."

Saras turns to you, returning your small gesture. "I promise you my best effort, Helena, and my silence, no matter the outcome."

Helena: I bow to him in acceptance, and in turn to Alma and Loren.

Saras: "We'll need a few items from my Ways, and a comfortable place to work. We could prove lucky, and only need a few hours for a first look, but overnight or more is at least as likely."

Helena: "There are private Ways in Jesby, unless Father believes this matter is best continued away from our House holdings. My own Ways can be accessed from Father's without passing through any public corridors."

Loren:
Loren clears his throat, a little uncomfortably, "Perhaps it would be better done in your Ways, Helena. If the JRS has more eyes than we anticipate, a gentleman returning to your chambers after an evening out will attract far less scrutiny than a clandestine meeting in our Hidden Ways."

Helena: "As you say."

Saras: "Unfortunately, I cannot Trump to my Ways, so I would have to meet you there after I retrieve my tools. However, that gives me a chance to pack an overnight bag, so the illusion would not be broken." Noting your father's mild discomfort, he keeps any further ironic comment to himself.

With a head start to your Ways, would you make any preparations (or further investigations, for that matter) while waiting for Saras to meet you?

Helena: I will change to my human form, and change my clothes to something comfortable and easy to wear -- and easy to remove or change as I shapeshift. I will set out fruited water and other refreshments in case the work of the evening is long. I will go out onto the hills with Boss and play with him a bit, working off nervous energy, until Saras's arrival. Father would have to escort him in, if he comes that way, over the hills; otherwise he could "come calling" by the attachment of my Ways to the House (i.e. through the front entry).

GM: Saras arrives by the House Ways and stands waiting at the front entry for you to let him in, a simple black overnight bag in one hand and a dark bottle of champagne in the other. His human-form is medium height, muscled like a champion swimmer, with a gait that still reminds you of a bipedal shark even now. Waist length dark hair falls a bit more carelessly now, the braid having given way to a simple knotted cord at the nape of his neck. He, too, is dressed comfortably; a loose martial-arts-style wrap jacket, light blousey pants, and beachcomber shoes. Boss greets him, finds him satisfactory after a good sniff, and then dashes inside unless you stop him.

Helena: Heh. I don't stop him, but we may have to put him back outside when we start anything "medical."

GM: Greetings, or straight to business?

Helena: I welcome Saras warmly and accept the champagne, guiding him through the entry and into the living area. I show him around briefly, pausing to get glasses for the champagne and an ice bucket to stand it in. Smiling a bit wistfully, I end with, "I regret that your call is less social than I would most enjoy. I hope that in future we can share this greeting again, without the pressure of duty. I found your company this evening... most interesting."

Saras: His own regret is visible as well, but he smiles through it. "I would gladly accept a rain check on some future evening with fewer challenges. With any luck, we will be toasting to a successful treatment by morning, so perhaps your hospitality will not be spent before I have to collect my departure."

After a deep breath, "Would you be more comfortable out here (assuming you're talking in the living area), or somewhere else? I don't imagine we'll make much of a mess, but working on a blanket or sheet is typical, just in case. The only other thing I might need that I don't have with me is a good sized mirror."

Helena: "Out here would be fine, if that area provides us enough room." I indicate the lower level area, with the conversational grouping of chairs that could be moved aside, and the fireplace. "I can bring the stand-up mirror and a coverlet from the bedroom."

If Saras indicates this is okay, I will go get those items and bring them out.

Saras: He does, and by the time you return with the items, he has shifted the chairs to make a good space. While you spread the coverlet, he takes a metallic thermos and a handful of ivory rings from his bag. "Set the mirror up over there," indicating one end of the space, and he bids you sit with your back to it while he pours something warm and red that is just barely too thin to be blood into the thermos cup. He concentrates on the contents until it begins to just barely steam, and then he sits down facing you and hands you four of the rings. "Line the smaller pair up so that the slightly thicker part is over your pulse," he explains, setting the cup down on the fireplace to demonstrate the proper technique as he slides the first one over your left hand. Once aligned, it slims until it is snug. (Assuming you have no objection,) He arranges the other in similar fashion, and then - after letting you divest yourself of any foot covering - eases the slightly larger rings in place just above your ankles.

Helena: I follow his directions, and allow him to help me place the rings comfortably.

Saras: They are body temperature almost immediately, and seem to be a relaxing influence.

"Sit with the soles of your feet together, hands on your knees, and just relax. The entire body's well being is reflected across the hands and feet, and these rings will let me measure that, to help me monitor our progress."

Helena: I nod, and again obey. This kind of relaxation or meditation is something I am used to doing.

Saras: He takes a cleansing breath. "Do you have any questions before I proceed further?"

Helena: I think a moment, and then ask, "Are there any other details I can provide that my parents did not? You do know my blood heritage?"

Saras: "Loren was fairly detailed with his account of your recollection. I don't plan to sift your memories as he did, but if I have questions, I will be able to ask when you are under." He pauses, formulating a polite answer to your last question. "Your mother is great-granddaughter to Benedict of Amber, and while Loren is your father, Julian of Amber seeded you in Alma. Your mother's suffering comes from Julian, and now we must see if something of that has passed to you."

Helena: I nod, simply.

Saras: After addressing anything else, he hands you the warm cup. "Drink all of this. There may be some discomfort as it transposits through you, but I will do my best to keep it from becoming too much. You may lose consciousness, but do not be alarmed. I will not let anything happen to you."

Helena: "Thank you for your assistance." I drink the contents of the cup, prepared to accept and dismiss any awareness of pain.

GM: Saras nods in silent acceptance of your premature thanks, and sits facing you while you drain the cup, taking up an identical pose. The contents burn slightly at first, like undiluted alcohol, and then there is a brief respite. Saras sees to the finer points of your pose, needing only to direct you lightly with his eyes, as you are familiar with meditative principles. After a minute or two of peace, the potion begins to react in your gut, beginning as just a feeling of indigestion, and then rapidly intensifying to the stabbing pain of an ulcer. It is as if something hard and sharp were pressing for space in your belly. Eventually, you are able to breathe through it, until it becomes just a dull ache and an odd weight behind your navel.

The bright green bleeds from Saras' eyes, leaving featureless ivory marbles somehow focused on you intensely enough that his gaze seems to peer into you from all angles. That odd, willing darkness begins rising to claim you again, but oh-so-slowly now, like drowning when you know you can swim. You feel a change coming over your body, foreign and yet natural, like your first time in avatar-form. How does Helena react?

Helena: I do not want to interfere with what Saras will be able to interpret. I give a slight frown as I feel the change coming on to indicate that I can feel something happening. I concentrate on maintaining myself, but not to the extent of actively fighting the change. I allow whatever is happening to occur, giving it only the standard resistance of my stable form, rather than any conscious block to it.

GM: Just as your natural resistance is overcome by this new impulse, the dark flows over you....

You awaken suddenly, as if to a snap of fingers. Your body feels stiff and drained - oddly echoing what you recall of the after-effects of your first trip to the center of the Pattern. Saras is holding your hands in your lap firmly enough that you believe you were fighting him a moment before, but he's clearly been careful not to hurt you. The rings around your wrists are fused together, as are the ones around your ankles, so you're sitting in a pike position instead of the meditative pose from before, firmly bound, but uninjured beyond a few aches from struggling and an odd bruise spreading on your knee.

"Helena?" Saras calls, softly but firmly, and you know it's not the first time his voice has reached for you. You can tell from the unfamiliar shape of your hands and the strange lie of your clothes that you are not entirely yourself physically, but the mirror is still behind you, out of sight. So far as you're aware, your mind is completely your own again.

Helena: I blink and take a deep breath. I nod to him carefully, and after a moment add, "I am here."

Saras: After a moment to weigh your response, Saras eases his hold on your wrists, gently taking one of your hands in a reassuring grip instead. "I apologize for any rough treatment, but... it did not go as smoothly as I had hoped." He shifts from his knees to an uneasy crouch, favoring a few bruises of his own. "How do you feel?"

As you begin to take stock, the skin you can see is Benedict's tan-and-gold. Corn silk ringlets dangle at the peripheries of your vision where your white-blond locks belong, touched with hints of sweat and unfamiliar perfume. The proportions of your body feel off, but the specifics are obscured by fatigue and your attire.

Helena: "Physically, tired. But I am myself. This change," I make a small gesture with my hand, "did I remain in this form consistently?"

Saras: "Aside from gray eyes and a change in your voice until just now, this is how you were the entire time I wrestled with the manifestation of what Alma passed to you. I originally wanted the mirror because I had a bad experience with a patient growing a scorpion tail during a session, out of my sight, but now I'm curious as to whether you recognize this entity's assumed face."

Helena: I turn to look at myself in the mirror, unless he indicates I should not for some reason.

GM: The weld between the anklets parts so you can turn more easily, but Saras leaves your wrists together for the moment.

The face staring back at you is unfamiliar, other than the skin coloration and the almond shape to the eyes that reminds you of Benedict. Your natural eye color seems out of place somehow beneath those long lashes. A button nose and plump golden-rose lips seem to war between 'cute' and 'sensual' for the overall effect of the new visage. As Saras helps you turn more fully toward the mirror, your first overall sense of your now-strange reflection is 'sex demon married well enough to earn a human form' - heavy breasts, slim but soft waist, and belly dancer hips - but after the initial shock, it occurs to you that the woman in the mirror would be quite a catch for a man of the Golden Circle, albeit as more of an ornament than a partner. It's neither fashionable nor practical for Chaos, but perhaps that's not what it was meant for... and there is certainly some implied intent to its lines. She looks like the work of an artist to your practiced eye, albeit a very skilled one. This shape is probably 3-4cm shorter than your normal height, yet with a shade more leg, and the strength of your upper body is far more camouflaged than your normal, but this form feels unsettlingly natural to you.

Helena: After contemplating for some time, I reply, "I do not." But there is some resemblence to Amber's Lord General." I trace my face in a gesture emphasizing the eyes, and then turn my hands over looking at the color. "If we deem it necessary, we could take a photograph or make a sketch, and ask him about it.

Saras: "I noticed that as well. Subtle, perhaps even an intentional resemblance, and yet it does not seem to rise from a blood relation." Saras glances around with a trained eye. "Are your security cameras working? If the resolution is high enough, perhaps a few stills will serve."

Helena: "And you said it did not go smoothly; what have you determined? Can this be resolved?"

Saras: "There was some unavoidable harm to your shape-shifting, as the entity chose that part of your brain for its last stand, but I believe you will recover in a few weeks, at most. I have it isolated, but I wanted to make sure that your mind was whole before I extracted it." He lets that statement stand as a question as well, waiting for your assessment of whether all of you survived the procedure.

You sense no gaps in your memory or tics in your movements.

Helena: "May I shift now?" I ask him.

Saras: "Try, but go slowly. I've repaired what I could, but the damage was fairly extensive. Once it realized I meant to remove it, the entity got rather 'scorched earth' in its tactics." He parts the bracelets to allow you a full range of motion and helps you to your feet.

Helena: If he permits it I will first shake off this form for my human form.

GM: You reach along old familiar pathways and find only mental blocks and severed nerves. Other than a mild headache, nothing results from your initial efforts.

Helena: After a moment's rest in that shape, I will loosen my clothing and begin the shifting katas: simple things, for me, so I advance quickly past the demon form to the more difficult partial shifts and on as far as I can get.

GM: Reaching for demon-form results in paired stabbing pains - head and gut - and Saras asks, almost begs, you to stop for now. "Give yourself some time to recover first. Perhaps we should remove the entity before you try again." He moves you to one of your more comfortable chairs. "Rest a bit, and we'll see if you're up for the extraction." He pours you a tall glass of the fruited water you set out, and then one for himself.

As soon as Saras looks away, you hear a faint, directionless whisper... someone calling for help?

Helena: I try to remain in the same position -- both physically and mentally -- where I can "hear" this, and say quietly to Saras, "Is it all right to speak with the entity? I... believe it may have some information for me."

Saras: Stopping mid-drink, "You can still hear it? Damn, it's a lot more powerful than I thought." He thinks on it briefly, then, "If it is important, I suppose you could risk it, but if you think you're hurting now, caging it a second time will be an order of magnitude worse. If you feel it escaping, let me know immediately, and I'll try to help you keep it contained." He pantomimes you putting your wrists and ankles together. "Would you mind? I don't relish a second beating tonight," this last said with a tired smirk.

Helena: I nod curtly and put my wrists and ankles together for him, but I do not look at him while he puts the rings on; in fact, I try not to look at him at all. When he is done, I turn away from him. I say, slightly out-loud, "I can hear you. We have some time. What do you need?"

Saras: Once you are set, Saras stays behind you, just inside arms reach, letting you call the play from here. You feel him make ready mentally to assist if you need it, and then his psychic presence dims until you can't perceive it any longer, perhaps to keep from spooking the entity while you converse.

[Is she angry at him for the restraints, just humoring the entity, or ?]

Helena: [Humoring the entity.]

GM: When you first address the entity, there is a sense of psychic effort from it that builds to a point and then crash-stops; likely testing its cage one more time. Thwarted from escape, it gathers itself enough to reply, still sounding like a whisper to you.

"I need a chance at life, like you were given. I need time of my own, away from pain and hate and fear. I need the chance that Alma gave you." It tests its cage once more, then rests. "I've waited decades for the chance you represent, and now your Hendrake would see me cast out like so much medical waste. Please... don't...." And then there is a sense of distant, bitter weeping.

Helena: Calmly, reasonably, not drawn into the weeping, I continue, "Who are you? How were you created or summoned?"

GM: After a flash of fury, "I am your sister, spawned in the same act of espionage that created you, but never born... hidden in her blood until she was too weak to find me, let alone risk another birth. I've done what I could to ease her pain, to give her the strength to bring another child to term one day, but we could bear each other no more, dining on each other's psychic poison for so long. I... I should have asked for your help, but to have limbs and skin and will of my own after so many decades of agony...." The next silence is filled with grief and regret, and a sense of more psychic tears.

Helena: I turn to Saras, "Can you hear?" (If not, I repeat what she said to me.) "My sister, biologically, was destroyed. Is it possible for a true independent will to exist this way?"

Saras: You feel his psychic presence rise slightly. "I heard. It would be a remarkable case. I'd suggest that the first part is hyperbole; perhaps a construct of memories stolen or borrowed from Alma. The remainder is possible, I suppose; some form of symbiosis... although that doesn't explain how the entity avoided detection by her doctors for all this time."

GM: The entity raises its 'voice' once more. "Is he calling me a liar? I'm guessing that he doesn't think it's possible, but he doesn't really know what you're capable of, or what our mother was trained to do."

Helena: "We could give her access to a golem, though given what she knows of Mother's... assignments, she would be under the care of the JRS or even Imperial Security for a considerable time. A being developed under the circumstances she describes would face challenges in politic society."

GM: "Loren asked that I not involve the JRS if I could help it." He retreats psychically for a moment, and then returns, his 'voice' a little cooler, "I can contain it temporarily, and fashion what you're asking for with a few days concerted effort... but I'd want to be far from the halls of Chaos before I tried it. Danger to you aside, I have no intention of getting in their sights again if I can help it."

You feel a wave of gratitude from the entity for even considering freeing her from her long, bodiless imprisonment.

Helena: "I do need time to consider, if we can make that time safe and private. Without that time, we shall have to proceed as you had originally planned."

Saras: One last wordless emotional plea for mercy radiates from the entity, and then it falls silent, seemingly awaiting your pardon or execution.

Saras, mentally, "If I might steal one of your brandy snifters, I can fashion a suitable vessel to contain the entity for as long as we might need. Depending upon how things unfold, we can incarnate or dispose of it from that containment with nearly equal ease, and it will no longer be a risk to your health or sanity." His hands alight on your shoulders briefly, comforting and reassuring. "Perhaps you should rest and make ready while I prepare it."

Helena: "I will."

Saras: Several minutes later, he re-enters the room, a glowing glass vessel in one hand. Out loud now, "If the entity doesn't fight me, I can make the transfer painless."

Helena: "I am prepared for either eventuality. Do not concern yourself with that."

Saras: He arranges your clothes to expose your midriff and settles his free hand over your navel. "Ready?" seemingly asking you both.

GM: The entity seems to retreat into it's 'cage' within you - surrendering? Your earlier pains from attempting to shift have faded, and you are feeling more yourself, despite being frozen in the form the entity left you with.

Helena: I am steeled for whatever he should ask of me in this.

GM: You feel his concentration rise, and his eyes go white again. A gentle telekinetic tug on the bracelets positions your hands at about the level of Saras' ear as he performs an elaborate, turning, left-handed reach to place the enchanted snifter in your grasp, afterward keeping just one finger in contact with its rim. There is the slightest twinge in your belly as the ritual reaches its peak, and then a 3cm crystal the color of arterial blood extracts at Saras' urging from your navel. His right hand draws back, and the sanguine stone follows, caught in his mind's net until he drops the gem into the glass like a tropical fish into its bowl. The top of the glass stretches and melts into a containment orb as the stone turns to ruddy smoke within.

His eyes melt back to their normal emerald-on-ivory. "It is done." The rings drop from your wrists and ankles, and Saras pauses to collect them before rising.

Helena: I stretch my arms, flex my ankles. I tuck my feet up and wrap my arms around my knees.

GM: Saras pauses to put his hand on your shoulder again, reassuring.

The entity in the orb you hold whispers to your mind, "And here I will await your mercy...."

Saras seems to hear, and asks, "Shall I silence it, or let it have its whispers? The entity's reach should not be much beyond touch, but as there is so much out of the norm about it, I cannot be certain of that."

Helena: I blink. "I need to know I can consider in private. If you must make her quiet, or we must go elsewhere, I..." I realize I'm babbling. "I, um, yes, please, I need to not hear her, nor her me, for a while." Neediness makes me fall apart, I realize. It makes me... a little angry at myself.

Saras: Saras makes a gesture over the orb, almost like an elaborate twist of a metaphysical key, and the swirling mist disappears behind a graying of the crystal. You actually feel some subtle connection break as he does so, and then she is truly silent.

Helena: I nod.

Saras: "The entity should be muzzled now. We can remain here, or not, as you wish. I would invite you to my Ways, if you needed a change of scenery, but access is only possible through some distance of water...." He pauses, easing the stranger's curls back from your face. Gently, nobly, perhaps realizing that he risks drawing your anger by offering yet more help, he gazes into your eyes and asks, "What can I do for you?"

Helena: "When will I..." I look down at my strange hands. "Can you bring me back?"

Saras: "If the entity's actions pushed you all the way into Shift-Shock, it could be several weeks. Best case, it's just a hard knock to the part of your mind that normally governs these things, an you could start shifting again in days or even hours... but I wouldn't count on it. That thing fought like the devil when I came after it, stealing resources from the only source it had; you." He takes your hands in his. "I could do some minor things to make you more comfortable, but the more I tinker, the longer it may take for you to recover. Is there some part of this you can't bear?" He looks you over and shrugs just slightly, trying to be nonchalant, or at least sound more like a friend than a doctor. "I preferred my previous dance partner, but she's right here, isn't she?" One of his hands rises to touch your face, and his eyes still drink you in, albeit focused on your mind more now.

Helena: "I cannot return to Amber this way. I don't know whose body this is or who might recognize it. For that matter its very existence could alarm people here who don't want this remembered. If I were remaining here, if I could shift away from this, it would matter much less. But now... even if I remained here and re-took my commission, I don't know how much retraining it would take for me to become a functional soldier. Except for command, everything I did personally was bound up in part with my shapeshifting."

I try to cast about for what upsets me about this so greatly. It is, after all, only a shape. "This was... my mother's path. Loren trained me as he trained me, got me into the military programs I wanted, because he did not want this for me. He did not want anyone he cared about to have to go this way, ever again."

Saras: Saras nods, understanding better now. "You will recover in time not to have to start your life over, Helena. I'm sure of that. As for your immediate duties... if your handwriting still holds, I think you could hire yourself to manage in your own absence."

He pauses, considering all that has transpired, contemplating your new face. "There are things I can do; things that will not traumatize you much further, to blur the lines of... whoever this is." Touching lightly to illustrate as he explains, "Bring back some of your old nose, restore your eyelids... hair should be easy; skin less so, but doable. I think the body would be more an issue of costuming than anything else, since it will be you walking, as opposed to the character this skin was meant to be. Worn as a warrior rather than a courtesan, who would know?" He meets your eyes squarely, searching for how deep your discomfort goes. "Do you need to be free of her now, or may we rest a while first? It has been an entire Turning since we first sat down to this, but I can make a start now if you need it."

Helena: I think a moment, then shake my head. "My good doctor will function at his best when he has rested," I give him a wan smile, "and I will think more clearly as well." I am not too proud to let him help me to my feet. "I must say I would feel most comfortable if you are near at hand, should anything else..." I pause, uncomfortable, and then cover with a joke. "This is not my usual method of inviting men to share my bed."

Saras: Saras does indeed help you up, allowing a hint of his own fatigue to show through now that he feels permitted. He smiles at your joke, but doesn't laugh, out of respect for your discomfort. "It has been an unusual evening, so...." He eases an arm around your waist. "Perhaps we will see how the spirits move us in a few hours. If nothing else, I can offer several methods of therapeutic massage that I'm fairly well versed in." You sense that he's assuming as little as possible, unsure of your spirits in under the circumstances.

Helena: "Thank you," I reply simply. I point out a couple of throws over a quilt rack and take one myself. Giving him a last smile, I wrap the quilt around myself and collapse on the far half of the bed. I do not move away if he touches me or puts and arm over me, but I am making no moves nor responding with further invitation. I fall asleep quickly.

GM: Saras strips down to his underclothes, flashing a sizable bruise on his midsection before his silk undershirt settles once more. He settles near the middle of the bed, displaced to the other side enough to give you your space. As you fade out, you feel his hand settle on the small of your back through the blanket, just resting there.

Aside from some indistinct flashes of light and color, your sleep is untroubled.

You awaken some hours later. Saras is in roughly the same position, his hand still lightly in contact with you. Some gray hair has appeared near his temples while he slept, peering through the very-dark-green on the rest of his head. You feel well enough, though your shape-shifting is still inaccessible; rested and hungry, though not inordinately so.

Helena: I lie there and try to rest some more. When that clearly becomes impossible, I get up gingerly and go bathe, trying to ignore / work with the changes in my body as natural, the same way I would with any other disguise or assumed shape.

GM: So long as you aren't looking at yourself, everything feels completely natural and in its places. It's only when you try to resolve what you're seeing against what you're feeling that you get disconcerted. Working with the changes while you bathe diminishes that disconnect, but can't quite banish it.

Helena: If Saras is not up when I get done, I put on a robe and fetch some snacks.

Saras: Saras is waiting with your robe in hand and his bag at his feet. "Good morning... I hope." As he settles it on your shoulders, "How did you sleep?"

Helena: "Well, considering. I suppose I wasn't sleepwalking, then?"

Saras: "I was rather out of it, but I don't think you left the bed. I'm fairly certain we got it all," referring to the entity.

Helena: I let Boss in and feed him biscuits and speak to him until he seems adjusted to my current form.

GM: Saras grabbed his bag and headed for the bath himself, giving you time with Boss. Boss looks at you funny, but takes much less time than you imagined to make the adjustment. Either you smell the same - which seems unlikely, since you think you smell different - or perhaps the entity took time to befriend him before?

Helena: I shake my head at thought while I feed him. Then I make coffee. When Saras emerges I offer him some. "I'll have to call in for breakfast, if you want it. I hadn't been planning to stay, so there's nothing in."

Saras: Saras emerges wearing a dark green tunic and trousers, feet bare. After a rousing pull from his mug, "I believe the guest should spring for at least one meal. Besides, I'd rather eat before doing any more work on you, and I don't relish either of us playing hide-and-seek with your servants."

Helena: Whatever he decides, I open the glass doors and invite Saras out, then sit down myself on the patio to have my coffee and think things through. "What would our next step be, then, doctor?"

GM: Saras stretches and remains standing for the moment. Looking out on the lands beyond the patio, "I thought I'd make use of your grounds to conjure some breakfast. Perhaps while I'm doing that, you could gather your security footage to see what mischief the entity got into, and to make sure we have some good shots of your current state before we start tinkering."

(I assume that Helena's security is technological, given your lack of magical skills. What would you have to view recordings on, and where in your Ways would it be feasible to do that? Details of the recordings will depend somewhat on the setup.)

Helena: (Since you can exit the Ways from all three doors if you know how, the cameras cover all three exits and the front office, but not the living areas. We're a bit lucky I was in, because when I'm not here the pics are reviewed by my security staff. We can review the discs from a monitor -- and get rid of them if need be. I'm also looking for a good still to show as a photo of the entity.)

GM: (Given what the cameras cover, I'd say there are no pictures of the entity, and the first picture of your current form is taken when you go into the office this morning (unless the porch where you take your breakfast is covered). One of the exit cameras has a half-Turning gap in its time stamps; likely sabotaged by the entity to take its leave unrecorded.)

Helena: (Seems reasonable. I pull a still from this morning's pictures at least.)

Saras: Before he heads into the woods, "You should consider whether you want to emulate your original state, someone else's, or just have me tinker around with individual features to obscure the artist's original intent. Will this one be just someone who passed the staff interview? If you intend to give the new you 'power of attorney' for the time being, you may not want to be someone just plucked from the labor pool." Saras moves out of sight but not out of earshot, and comes back with a loaded breakfast tray if he's not interrupted.

Helena: I don't interrupt him, instead I think on his questions. This upsets me again, but I decide this time to hold that down and focus on the practical task at hand. "Thank you," I say in response to the breakfast. I let some time pass as we eat, and just appreciate the feeling of being rested and replenished.

GM: After some minor adjustments of your posture at the table, you relax into the meal, and do indeed feel replenished.

Helena: "So, at some point if I am able to take up my duties again, we shall have to review the options more seriously. I know you said last night that you were interested, but the position does require a pretty big jump, not to mention a move to Amber that requires one to live with a certain amount of... harassment -- not by the populace, by the way, at least not so far in my experience. But certainly some of the Princes are hostile to any overtures towards Chaos. We benefit by Random's having the throne of the Second Realm."

Saras: "To be honest, I could use some distance from Chaos. The jump, the other difficulties; frankly, I look forward to something other than the hollow roles I have been relegated to here of late. No Prince I know of has any personal grudge against me, and I have every confidence in being able to deal with any political grudges as they come." After a breath, "As for the 'some point' you speak of, taking up your duties is a 'when,' not an 'if,' and I think we can handle this little setback. Even discounting the fact that I don't see more than a month of recovery time for you, your duties in Amber don't require shape-shifting, do they?"

Helena: "No." Said baldly, I have to bite back on some distress. I continue in a more measured way, "But since we don't know who created this form -- or for whom it was created -- I do not want to risk anything of the good graces of that Court for our endeavour. The Embassy is more valuable than my role in it, and I know these things move quickly. Even now other Houses contemplate how they, too, could enter such positions. I realize I would still have my role as Ambassador of the Empire, but my role for Jesby? I fear this sets us back by that month, unless I either take up or let go the reins in a timely way."

Saras: "Loren said that you had assayed the Pattern. Could you not find someplace in Shadow where time runs faster to heal, if time presses you so?"

Helena: I look at him wryly. "Time runs relatively quickly here, so in that sense I have a bit more time than I would elsewhere. But just finding someplace with such a quality... it is a work that is beyond my skill. The quality is too intangible."

Saras: "I suppose it is natural to ascribe powers to the victor that they might not possess."

Helena: "You're not alone in that," I answer.

Saras: He lowers his head slightly. "I apologize for the false hope."

Helena: I realize I am putting off deciding about the form... or even talking about it further, but I let the conversation go down this path as long as Saras lets me get away with it.

Saras: In the natural lulls in the conversation, you sense him taking measurements of your face in his mind, contemplating options to offer. He does not press, however.

Helena: Finally I blurt out, "You could not help me mimic my own shape, or at least my own face, then?"

Saras: "Yes, I can, but it will cost you more time healing, at the very least. Your face alone might be a manageable shock, but to re-lengthen bones and rearrange so much flesh in your drained condition is asking for trouble. If you have a good rendition of your face, I can try..." looking a bit concerned, but perhaps sufficiently confident.

Helena: "My other choice is to stay in seclusion here... for how long?" I blush, realizing it may sound as though I am angry with Saras. "I mean, it is feasible, but realistically... how long?"

Saras: He seems understanding of your agitation. Very gently, "You could reconnect today, tomorrow, or a week of weeks from now. If we assume the worst, you lose over a month, and Jesby's inroad goes stale." Saras takes a breath, letting it out evenly. "Do you want your face as I remember it, as you remember it, or from some model?" His eyes tighten slightly. "I will not promise you any figure work until we see how this first step goes, all right?"

GM: (Conventional wisdom is that a Shift-Artist (as this is not strictly medicine anymore) will tend to embellish up if working from his own impression and down if working from the subject's impression. However, working from a model can only turn out as well as the recording. Up to you what imagery Helena might have of herself....)

Helena: "I have Trumps of myself, one quite recent. Also your memories and my own... the security recordings from earlier today and yesterday..." I shrug. "I think it is a good compromise between being able to at least conduct some business... not have to be in hiding completely at least?" I look to him for some reassurance that my reasoning is not completely faulty.

GM: Struggling momentarily with his concern for you, he has to concede, "Better to deal with the occasional odd look than to curl up and hide... of course." He glances around, making a decision in his mind. "The pictures from your cameras are mostly from in here, so perhaps this is where we should work." He collects your Trump, considering it hard enough to make contact with your mind. Smiling softly, he eases just far enough into your mind to access your self-image. Saras then looks toward the security monitor, considering four views of your original human-form. Another cleansing breath, and then, "I will feel any discomfort you experience. If it gets to be too much, I will stop. Do you trust my assessment of your pain tolerance and your health?"

Helena: Nodding, "I do."

GM: After seating you on the corner of your desk for the best light, he begins with easing your hair back from your face, gently imposing his will as he does so until it becomes as you knew it. A faintly uncomfortable tingling in your scalp accompanies this change. He smooths over your eyebrows to effect the same alteration, then settles his thumbs lightly over your closed eyes, willing your eyelids to a new shape. You are unable to stop the tears from falling, but it is as least as much irritation as pain. His hands ease lower on your face, raising a faint pop and a strong burning sensation as your nose shifts. At last, he cups your face in both hands, focusing his will on restoring your jawline. This takes long enough for perspiration to form on his forehead, and it takes all of your concentration to hold your place and let him work. When he stops, there are alternating flares of pain and numbness in your cheeks, and you taste a bit of blood. You feel a little dizzy, but it is your face looking back at you when he allows you a mirror, albeit a bit soft-looking from the light swelling rising, and appearing tired for the dark circles filling in under your eyes.

Saras takes several more breaths before asking, "Will that pass?"

Helena: I look, and look again, and finally nod. "It is well made and very accurate..." a short sigh escapes me along with a smile of relief. "Even from within it feels correct. You are very skilled."

Saras: He buries his concern over the bruising he raised and allows himself a smile. "It was not a face I was likely to forget." He raises one of your hands to his lips, kissing gently. "Will you forgive me if I don't go farther?"

Helena: I look down, smiling a bit both at the silly come-on and the odd context of it. "Saras... I presume if we have the opportunity to work together, you will go as far as necessary on another occasion." I glance back up at him from under my brows, to make sure he takes it as the gentle, somewhat flirting tease it was meant to be.

Saras: "For you, I would go far indeed. Perhaps a foolish thing to say so soon, but... it is not every day that a woman impresses me as you have in such a short time." He laughs a little, realizing that perhaps he sounds too serious, but retracts nothing.

Helena: I laugh, finally, as much at the whole situation as at the relief of the moment. "Look, all this, even if it turns out for the worse? It's worthwhile for the relief I saw yesterday in my mother. You've known her; how long has it been since you've seen her body relaxed, her form natural, her laugh open like it was last night? She has lived with that burden all my life. It is a small thing I have done for them, and a large thing that you have done for me... mitigating the price."

Saras: "I am glad to help you both, truly. My only hesitation was fear of doing you some lasting harm."

Helena: "So, there is a small piece of this mystery I can try to solve in a few moments. I think perhaps you should not carry more knowledge of this than you already must bear.

Saras: "As you see fit, Ambassador," said with a smile.

Helena: "Might you return later? It would be interesting to have an afternoon with you that did not focus entirely on my problems and your medical skills."

Saras: "I'd like that." He holds up the Trump of you he'd been using. "May I keep this, and seek you in a Turning or so? [12 hours] I would offer you mine, but I have avoided posing for one for many years."

Helena: "Of course, please do. I look forward to your call." I stand while he gathers his things and then escort him to the door.

GM: Shortly after showing Saras out, you discover a small ivory statuette of two demons dancing, seemingly captured in mid-motion, 'hidden' where he could expect you to find it in short order. You recognize that move as part of your big finish in your best dance last evening.