After Undertow — A Letter from Blade
An Open Letter to the Family
© 2005 Chris Butz
After due consideration, I must take my leave of the family. I must confess I have been very dishonest with all of you. All my life, I have done all I could to give you the impression that I am a fop. A dandy. A playboy. This is not the case. I have never been that person. That man was a façade I concocted to protect myself from all of you.
The time for such acts has passed, however. And I find that the years of pretending to be someone I am not have diminished the memory of who I am. I must now recover that self if I am to be of any use to Amber in this time of crisis. I leave on a path that, if successful, will lead me back to my true self. If unsuccessful, I very much doubt that I will see any of you again.
I will, I think, be gone for some time and I will be out of Trump contact. For your own sakes, do not attempt to follow me or find me. If I cannot survive where I go, none of you is likely to fair much better--and none of you has a compelling reason to go. If I fail, I am of little use to you anyway, so there is no pragmatic reason to try to rescue me.
I leave only two personal messages. To Meridian: keep singing. Your harmonies may yet heal many wounds, though my own, perhaps, run too deep. To Rio: dearest sister, to you alone, do I apologize for my deception. I have never had anything to hide from your wild innocence. Don't let the others steal that away.
My best wishes to all--even hated Gerard--in my absence.
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other writings: Background, Quiz, Blade and Rio, Undertow log, "Blade and not Rio", "Blade and Corwin", "The Promise of Power ", "An Open Letter to the Family"